ramble, babble and a few deep thoughts

I use crutches to walk. It may sound weird but I often forget. When I dream, I never have them. My body is strong. During the day it doesn’t cross my mind until someone on the street, in the elevator or at the store asks how I broke my leg. That’s my reality check that I’m not normal. Some days it makes me mad. Some days I don’t mind. It can lead to a new friend or become an unspoken reminder that their life could be worse.

Having Arthrogryposis is a part of me but it does not define me. As a 30-something I found there’s not much out there for us gals when we want to start a family. It’s scary and you want to find someone who has walked in your shoes. So here I am. On my journey to meet others and band together. Now that we’re buds. I’m sorry…I lied. It’s impossible to forget that I’m using crutches in the summer. Tank tops hurt. Ouch.

I am not sure where I’m going with this whole thing blog thing. I always wanted to write a book but now I am not sure that’s what I want anymore. I really don’t know what I have to say that could fill an entire book and I struggle with putting my life out there. I spent my whole life working towards being normal and now here I am wanting to write about how I’m not. There are a million people out there with challenges and disabilities, so I have waves of feeling not worthy. I am certain there are much more interesting issues out there that merit a blog, book or your time.

With that said, I’m still here. I love to write and I think I have some good stuff to say. Thoughts roll around in my head all day long and when good topics come to me I whip out my beloved iPhone and send them to myself for a rainy day when I will add them to my “book”… Sadly, my folder of these emails have grown out of control like my closet often does. I just continue to ignore it for another day. {shame}  I am guessing I have over 100 pages typed and collecting cyber dust inside my computer. Work, family, raising a toddler and life in general have gotten in the way.

So here is my story. Here is my life. Bear with me as I have no idea where I am going. Be nice to me as I wear my heart on my sleeve. The Bachelorette this season says “no regrets” and being the intellectual giant that I am…I think I’ll quote her. You can’t really know someone by only showing part of yourself, so I am hoping to be transparent in the hopes of gaining readers, providing some hope and getting the most out of this blogging adventure.

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One thought on “ramble, babble and a few deep thoughts

  1. Thank you for doing this. A book would be a wonderful idea. This is fantastic for me to follow, with my daughter having AMC one of my biggest worries has been giving her tools to deal with society. I have always felt I can raise a strong woman, but I don't know how things will be for her from her view. You can and in just a few words have helped in that area. Not to mention, a book would be something she could read and relate to once she is of old enough to read and comprehend. Life can certainly be busy, but maybe in the future you can write devoting a book to teenage experiences, young adult experiences, and motherhood experiences all from an AMCer's point of view. That would be fantastic!Again, thank you for sharing. I look forward to all thoughts (positive and negative) to help know what my daughter may go with, think and feel.

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