needing others

Looking back, my life before becoming a mom was pretty easy. I went to college, had an apartment in a fun part of the city, worked, hung out with friends, and married my best friend.

Once my son was born things changed a lot as I’m sure it does for all new parents. The hardest change is that I did not go anywhere unless we all went as a group since I couldn’t carry my son. It did not seem that bad at first but I think by the fourth week at home I started to feel crazy.

I am overly independent (my mom might call it stubborn) and one of those people who enjoys being alone.  Those days were over, if I wanted to go anywhere with my son I had no choice but to recruit someone to go with me.

I would give anything to be able to put my son in the car and spend an hour at Target. Not having to make small talk with anyone, just sharing the moment with him and browsing through all the things we “need” around the house.

If I leave work early and want to get him from daycare I can’t unless there is someone to meet me at the house to help with the transfer. My son started walking at 10 months which was great because I could call him and he’d follow me around the house. However, the odds of him listening and following me from the car to the house with all the fun distractions outside are slim. It feels too risky yet and he runs fast! 

My situation is bittersweet. I am thankful for an awesome network willing to help but so annoyed that I need it.

Today my husband went to a baseball game and my friend came over to help after work. I went to daycare and they put my son in the car. My friend met me at my house and led him from the car to the house and for the next three hours our kids ran around like crazy going from room-to-room having a blast.

I watched them jump, dance and squeal and began to feel really lucky. If I had not needed help, my son would have not experienced a night of giggles and fun. I would have missed an opportunity to catch up with one of my favorite girls. My needing her also gave her a night out of the house and a chance for her daughter to have fun too.

I have been looking forward to the future when I can regain my independence, and maybe wishing away the baby years more than I should. Tonight was a really good reminder that there is a lot of good to be found in my season of needing others.

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5 thoughts on “needing others

  1. Here's a deal. If you want a little solo O and mama evening, text me, to make sure I'll be home before you. Between A and I (and R) we can make sure you get from the car to the house. Whatcha think? I love my "me" time, and if I can make it easier for you to get some, I'm in. You'll probably have to watch A pretend to drive your car while I get O into the house…and then we'll switch back real fast!!! 🙂

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  2. I appreciate your comment about "wishing away the baby years." That is usually the type of thing you realize once the babies are grown…you have already figured out that valuable life lesson! Enjoy these baby years, and I'm glad you're figuring out that "needing others" can be a good thing. LL

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  3. Love your attitude! I have AMC (all four limbs) and found raising my daughter to be one of my greatest challenges. She's just turned 30 and has many fond memories of growing up with a differently abled mom. Asking for help was also very difficult for me, but I discovered so many new opportunities when I learned to reach out. I shall enjoy following your journey!! :))

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  4. Kathleen – Thank you for your comment. I love finding other AMC moms!!! I'm so glad you found my blog. Please do come back, I'm sure you have lots of pointers you could share with us new mommies.

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