Some of you might know that I recently auditioned for a part
in this year’s Listen to Your Mother production.
I love getting the chance to
know other AMCers. There is something really priceless about finding another
girl who like myself watches in awe at the girl sitting in front of her in
class, on the bus, in a meeting – whip her hair into a ponytail. We are
blown away at the ease and hope they know how insanely lucky they are… oh to
have strong hands.
Through the AMC ladies group on
Facebook, I found other AMCers that long for strong leg muscles, hunt for products to make life easier and do weird things around the house to survive. Continue reading
I always felt like my son and I had an unspoken
understanding. I like to imagine that in
the final seconds before he was born God sweetly whispered to Oliver, “be good
for your mommy, she needs your help.”
Throughout the past three years my husband was more of the “mama
bear” in the house since he had to carry him and help with the things I couldn’t
do. Oliver tends to give him a hard time on
things that he easily does for me. I’m
not sure why but it gets frustrating.
Last Friday my husband had a fairly serious ear surgery – removing
a cyst/tumor-like growth and rebuilding bones, using a drill, etc. You can imagine how his head and ear felt
after all that. As we came home from the hospital and he landed on the couch, I
began my brief journey with solo parenting.
Let me start by sending any single moms out there a hug..and
a nap…it’s exhausting!
My husband was around but he was in pain, tired, medicated
and under strict orders to rest and not lift anything.
One night Oliver asked my husband to lift him and he said he
couldn’t. Then Oliver said, “mama you can’t carry me, you’re too short.” This was the first time he verbally recognized
that I don’t carry him. His reason behind it still makes me grin…I know I’m no
giant but sheesh, 5’1 isn’t THAT short…
Since he turned three it seems as if he has learned a few
He likes to negotiate.
He knows he can out run me.
He knows I can’t grab him and carry him away when he’s
Day one of getting him ready for daycare involved major
drama getting him dressed. He wanted to
chill in his jammies and stay home with dad.
Once we got outside to the car, he ran to the other side of the car wanting
me to chase him around the car. Knowing
it was a battle I’d never win, I just opened his door and stood there surfing
Facebook on my phone until he got bored.
The next day came with an instant replay of getting
dressed. My husband was trying to help
which just made it worse. By the time it
came to the final battle of getting on his jacket, I was feeling like a sweaty
mess. I threw my coat on the ground while trying to put on his coat. After getting him set, he managed to trip on
my coat…fall…hit his head and major waterworks followed.
Shoot me now.
I was insanely happy to go to work. Almost giddy.
That night when I picked him up I was hoping for a clean
slate and some much needed mercy. He
followed me to the car like an angel. He climbed in great. After that it all went downhill. He refused
to sit in his car seat. In the awkward
cramped car I didn’t stand a chance of pulling him up into the
seat and buckling him in without his cooperation. It was dark, cold and I just wanted to go
home. So I stood there in his door while
he sat in the front seat refusing to get buckled up. I have no idea how long it took but
eventually I outmatched him and he made his way back to his seat.
As time passes the challenges change. The days of dealing with carrying a car seat
are gone. No more changing diapers. The
new battles are totally easier on the pride because in the end I WILL win but
are emotionally exhausting.
AMC mommies out there…what have you experienced?
Looking back, my life before becoming a mom was pretty easy. I went to college, had an apartment in a fun part of the city, worked, hung out with friends, and married my best friend.
Once my son was born things changed a lot as I’m sure it does for all new parents. The hardest change is that I did not go anywhere unless we all went as a group since I couldn’t carry my son. It did not seem that bad at first but I think by the fourth week at home I started to feel crazy.
I am overly independent (my mom might call it stubborn) and one of those people who enjoys being alone. Those days were over, if I wanted to go anywhere with my son I had no choice but to recruit someone to go with me.
I would give anything to be able to put my son in the car and spend an hour at Target. Not having to make small talk with anyone, just sharing the moment with him and browsing through all the things we “need” around the house.
If I leave work early and want to get him from daycare I can’t unless there is someone to meet me at the house to help with the transfer. My son started walking at 10 months which was great because I could call him and he’d follow me around the house. However, the odds of him listening and following me from the car to the house with all the fun distractions outside are slim. It feels too risky yet and he runs fast!
My situation is bittersweet. I am thankful for an awesome network willing to help but so annoyed that I need it.
Today my husband went to a baseball game and my friend came over to help after work. I went to daycare and they put my son in the car. My friend met me at my house and led him from the car to the house and for the next three hours our kids ran around like crazy going from room-to-room having a blast.
I watched them jump, dance and squeal and began to feel really lucky. If I had not needed help, my son would have not experienced a night of giggles and fun. I would have missed an opportunity to catch up with one of my favorite girls. My needing her also gave her a night out of the house and a chance for her daughter to have fun too.
I have been looking forward to the future when I can regain my independence, and maybe wishing away the baby years more than I should. Tonight was a really good reminder that there is a lot of good to be found in my season of needing others.
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