love and junk

I’m not sure which would be better – being a girl or a boy with a disability. Not that either option is ideal but I often wonder if one path is easier.

I think it comes natural to pamper and help a girl so having to ask for help is less humbling. Well, unless you are stubborn like me.

For guys as they get older, I’m guessing it takes a bit of swallowing ones pride to do so. People might be hesitant to offer up help, not wanting to offend them. Which in turn leads them to having to swallow their pride and ask.

When it comes to dating though, I think the roles might be reversed.  Girls tend to be nurturing and some may even thrive on being needed. I could see it being easier for a guy with a disability to date.

As a girl, I assume all guys want a hot blonde with big eyes, long wavy hair and long legs. I’m sure this stereotype haunts us all, not just us who were born with a disability.

I was recently asked to write about dating when I was younger.  It made me smile because that was the third time a parent had asked me about that topic – I’m totally get how you might wonder what your child’s future love life will be like.

When I entered High School I was quiet. I hung with my girlfriends. I thought boys were cute but I’d never talk to them much less tell them. 

My school was small. Everyone was categorized. I hung with the nice girls. We were not the cool cheerleaders. We were not crazy smart. But we did not have bug collections and pocket protectors. I’d like to think we were just normal. We had sleepovers, bought clothes, read books, went to movies and talked about the boys we would kill to date.

On top of not being super cool, I was the girl on crutches. In High School everyone wants to fit in so badly. We were all finding ourselves and it would be a big risk to be the weird one who likes the disabled girl.  So I can tell you that there were no love letters slipped in my locker and my early High School days were not full of hot dates.

But there’s hope.

It was my Junior year and my girlfriend and I were driving through the grocery store parking lot. We decided to start talking to a guy who was collecting the carts.  He was cute and I felt brave and invited him to my brother’s party at our house that weekend. He came and brought two friends along. This was the first time a guy had shown interest in me and it was awesome.  We hung out for awhile but I had instantly been attracted to the friend he had brought along the first night to my house.

He was funny, smart, cute and I adored everything about him. He was from a different town and a different clique from my “nice girls” group. It was love.  

I like to think there is someone out there for us all.  Some might have to wait for boys (or us girls) to grow up to see our whole package. In the end, they might even find that dating someone with a disability makes them a better person. You learn compassion and see the world differently.

The guy who came to my house one crisp fall night when I was 16, is now my husband.  Life isn’t perfect and I sure am not. We had our off and on moments as we grew up but in the end it was clear that my world would lose its twinkle without him in it. 

Some may have to wait, but again that can be the case for anyone. I consider myself lucky. I met my husband young and was spared from years of bad dates, broken hearts and rejection. I like to think the older we get the more open we are to different types of people. I personally prefer that – it spices up life. 

So, what’s your love story? 

 

 

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